Ah, Sexpo. Over the years I’ve met many people who have attended Sexpo and told me: “You’ve just got to go! It’s so fun!” So, this got me all excited thinking it was a really awesomely nasty and naughty event. Naughty? Maybe if you’re not familiar with the stuff on display. Nasty? Yes but definitely not in a sexy way.

THE EVENT

Sexpo is an annual sexual lifestyle.

PRICE

General access tickets were R150 and VIP tickets were R299.

Although I was determined to go this year, I grew increasingly less excited the closer it got to buying tickets. I honestly believed that the setup would be a dull expo setup that leaves you with absolutely nothing to do once you have checked out each stall and I didn’t think that experience was worth the price even if general access was only was R150. I was right!

We went on the Wednesday and received a R50 discount and I honestly don’t think this event is even worth R100, let alone R150 or even R300 for VIP access.

FOOD & DRINKS

I didn’t really eat at the event so I can’t really comment on the food and they also didn’t have the best selection of beers and ciders. If I remember correctly, it was slightly overpriced.

SETUP & EXPERIENCE

The stalls were a complete let down. Nothing amazing or out of the ordinary, unless you are not familiar with what’s out there. The main stage? Oh, what a failure! We managed to catch some strippers from Teazers on stage – that show was horrible. There was, however, a decent dance act called ‘Hot In The City’. They were decent – not incredible or amazing or spectacular, but decent.

The emcee kept giving out lube for some reason – I’m sure there were better “prizes” that could’ve been handed out. Who really wants lube? They did eventually hand out tickets for the Thunder From Down Under show. Now that was a treat! I’m not really one for male strippers but their show was the only amazingly entertaining act we saw so I’ll give a big ups where it’s due! I didn’t get a lap dance, unfortunately. This is definitely one to see for a fun, naughty night out with the girls.

The lounges were on a floor separate from the expo setup. It was about R50 to get in. By this time we were already disappointed so we weren’t prepared to pay even more for this let down. Sadly, we paid to go into Teazers. What a mistake! We saw two 5-minute strip shows – yes, that’s how long a girl stayed on stage then you had to wait another hour until another one pitched up on stage. It was horrible. It was traumatising. The strip industry in South Africa is appalling.

RATING

1/10. Will definitely not be going again!